Friday-and another early bird special

Did I tell you that my MIL and FIL live with us...yep, we inherited them around our 1st anniversary-one of the blessings of marrying for the 2nd time during my mid-life. MIL has a form of dementia that's not Alzheimers. This makes it especially hard to help her bcuz it doesn't follow any sort of pattern. FIL is in a wheelchair because he refused to get his knees replaced 20 yrs ago. Between the 2 of them, we have A complete brain and A complete body..it's quite the team. Due to boredom on my FIL's part and forgetfulness on MIL's they're always ready and willing to eat. So, lucky me, as soon as i get home from work every friday I have to make a mad dash to change clothes and make it to the restaurant of their choice. We used to dread eating so early but we've decided to just deal with it. Because of our attitude adjustment, we are learning to take advantage of the Earlybird specials- this is especially helpful when MIL orders 2 entrees-she's a growing girl you know. At least we've gotten her off the consumption of the $9.00 bag of snickers (SNICKER BARS as she calls them)in 5 days. The main problem in this living arrangement is that they're used to always being on the go. In their past life, MIL would drive FIL anywhere he wanted to go. We'd call their house, no answer. We'd call their cell (when they could actually hear it ring and remember how to answer it ) and they'd be on their way to Biloxi. They get pissed -or i should say FIL gets pissed- because we don't keep them going as much as he'd like. He fails to realize that his son, my husband, has torn a rotator cuff getting the bigboy wheelchair in and out of the car numerous times in a row. And with my thyroid problem, i can't go go go.

However, when we do manage a day trip Husband and I come home on the verge of a breakdown. fIL can't hold his urine and waits til we're in the middle of no where to ask to pee.By the time we're careening down the country road, FIL is rocking and moaning and sure as certain as soon as we find a suitable off-the-road pissing hole he proceeds to pee in his shoes. All the while this is going on ,MIL is darting her tongue in and out of her mouth like a lizard and sucking on her teeth (doc says it's a symptom...i say it's like fingers on a balloon). Then she reads every billboard and tells us the name of every tree.

When someone invents a dispenser for valium for a reasonable price and figures out how to strategically place said dispensers in off the road convenience stores, please let me know. I'm sure young mothers and others in my situation would greatly appreciate this gift to our sanity.

For the time being, I need you to move over ,Nellie, you'rehogging the couch.


however, when we d

Summer in the SE US of A

I'm melting. I have hypothyroid disease and I am melting!!! Living in the SE of this great country makes me really happy that God gave someone the intelligence to make air conditioning. That person probably sits to the right of the throne. My thyroid disease has been the bane of my existence. And summers in the south are the closest I ever want to get to living in hell. Heat. Humidity. Scorching blacktop equals frazzled hair, chafed thighs, and irritability. If I hadn't morphed into a "big-boned girl" (another unlucky symptom of this glandular condition) Id rip my clothes off at the risk of arrest and parade around in my undies. Fortunately for the general population, I remember the lessons my momma taught me about modesty-and making others go blind- so, I'll pray for a break in this awful heat and move as fast as my lard arse will let me and scoot from my AC'd car to my AC'd work to my AC'd house. I have figured out that there are only 3 seasons here. Fall, winter, and inferno. So, move over ,Nellie, you're hogging the couch!

Crazy people

Yeah, it's all over the news- Mel Gibson has gone insane and Oksana G. is a manipulative bitch. How about the truth? Mel Gibson terrorized this woman. Who cares if she was calm on the tapes? Who cares if she taped him in the midst of his rants? The reasons and what fors DO NOT matter. I doubt that most of you out there are psychologists or actual shrinks; but we certainly don't need a professional to analyze what is completely unacceptable behavior. I loved him in the "Die Hard" movies. He was a believable badass Scotsman in "Braveheart". Maybe playing that role was easier for him to get into character. Does it even matter that his 1st wife is acting as a character witness? He has gone down the road to Crazy Town and it is a crying shame that his lawyers are turning this into O's problem or fault. I even read where she knew what she was doing and DROVE him to this brink. He's a grown man , people. Grown, sane adults do not behave this way and for any of you to try and justify it is completely ridiculous. Would you bitch-slap your bitch while she's holding your child and then blame her? You're another sick one if you can even remotely try to justify this melt-down.Get this man help. Lock him up. Do something. But do not allow him to get away with this. I've seen emotional and mental abuse 1st hand from an alcoholic spouse who doesn't even remember playing out his little spells. If I'd been smart like Oksana I'd have taped the lunatic. I could have at least handcuffed him to a chair and made him listen to his bad behavior. It wouldn't matter to me if the world heard these tapes because my lunatic wasn't Mel Gibson. But Mr. nutcase chose to be in the public eye. He has reaped the rewards of much success. Maybe his problem is a good old case of the Irish Flu and he's done tippled one too many cocktails. How glorious ex Mrs. Gibson didn't have to endure this crap...or maybe she's lying too and Mel will give her a bundle to keep quiet.Whatevers, no one should ever have to endure this, put up with this, or be allowed to get away with this. End Of Story.

On a lighter note, ain't it great that Lindsay has to got to jail and rehab because of her bad behavior? When one of my spawn got into trouble, I didn't have the resources to fly in lawyers from all over the country and interview them in the hopes of getting them out of trouble.That expense could have been better used toward a good rehab facility; but before that could happen, all parties involved-mother/child-would have to actually accept that there was a problem. My child had to actually see the justice system at work and reap the consequences of bad behavior. Said child is a better person for it, seriously. My life coaching hadn't been too successful in hitting home the consequences of cause and effect. The pokey made a much better impression than I ever could..

So move over Nellie, Momma's coming thru. No , for real this time----When next we meet, Ima BFF